Testimonies
It is God's will for His people to be whole - spirit, soul and body - that they may "prosper in all things and be in health" (3 John 2). The good news is that this wholeness is not only for a select few, but for all who would look to Him and trust in Him for their healing and restoration.
The following are the real-life stories of some who have found this to be true for them. Their names and some details have been changed to protect their privacy:
Click on title for full testimony:
DIVINE SURGERY!
Kristine's Story
In mid-October 2004, I was diagnosed with cysts and blood clots in my left ovary.
Upon examining me, a gynaecologist at a private hospital recommended immediate surgery within the next four days, citing concern for my well-being lest the cysts burst and damage my fallopian tube, womb, etc.
I was shocked when he gave me the fearful news, and in a daze I hurriedly consented to the surgery. I went home and shared this news with my family and friends who thereupon advised me to postpone the surgery and seek a second opinion. By that time, my mind had become clearer and I was more at peace and composed as I sought the Lord that night in the privacy of my room.
I recalled what I had learned in the Deeper Life Seminars and on the different Raphah Ministries’ courses - never to allow Satan the right to have a hold over my life by reaffirming my status as a child of God; confessing and repenting of my sins and declaring the Lordship of Jesus in every area of my life.
My prayer that night was a strong declaration of my complete trust in Him and all that He had promised - a wholesome life that comes with His gift of salvation. I declared my belief that He could remove whatever growths, tumours, or blood clots within me, and I literally asked Him that night to do surgery on me while I slept. So, in faith, I laid hands on my abdomen and petitioned the Lord to remove the cysts and blood clots from my body. Immediately, I felt a warm touch of the Holy Spirit of God flowing through my hands onto my abdomen and down my legs.
Praise the Lord, the next morning, I felt much better and called the hospital to cancel the surgery. The gynae later called me and demanded to know why I had cancelled the surgery and whether I was aware of the serious risks to myself. The tone of his response took me by surprise, but I remained firm about not proeceeding with surgery. Nevertheless, I decided to see a different gynae for a second opinion.
The night before I went for this second gynae’s appointment, I again went before the Lord to pray and repent of any conscious sin and unforgiveness I might still have had within me. And as an act of my own free will, I chose to release those who had wronged me into the freedom of my forgiveness. Then once more I laid hands on my abdomen and claimed complete healing, and a clean bill of health, from the Lord.
This time, the anointing of the Holy Spirit was tangible, real, strong and powerful - flowing through my hands, spreading to the lower parts of my body and down my legs. There and then I knew, and I knew and I knew, without a shadow of doubt that He had miraculously worked an act of healing in me; there was such deep peace within me. Words of Scripture kept repeating in my mind:
“As you have believed, let it be done for you”
- Matt. 8:13
I eagerly waited for the next morning to arrive so that the gynae could independently confirm what I had felt so powerfully in my own body.
True to His Word of assurance, I got a clean bill of health from the gynae who gave me such great comfort that it just seemed like God was speaking to me through her that everything was fine; my womb was healthy and well and showed no risk at all of any adverse activity. I was too dumbfounded for words and could only gasp with amazement at the marvelous work of salvation and healing He had done in me.
I received the final confirmation from the laboratory not long after - when the blood and urine tests confirmed that everything was normal. Faith, submission, obedience and trust in Him had indeed healed me!
All glory and thanks to God for all that He had done!
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DELIVERED FROM GUILT AND SHAME
Sara's Story
To many people I appeared as a fine person: confident, intelligent, happy, etc. However, all this was just a front; a front to hide the real person within because from a very young age I had struggled with persistent negative emotions. I often felt broken, rejected, depressed, worthless, and fearful. I also struggled with feelings of low self-esteem, helplessness and hopelessness -- all because I was an adopted child.
Not liking what I often felt I was determined to find a way out of all these emotional pains. I read many books on how to improve my self-esteem, and how to have a more positive outlook. I tried meditation thinking that it would bring me peace. I also talked to many different people hoping they would be able to give me an answer to my emotional problems. Sadly, despite the best of my efforts, I did not experience the breakthrough I had hoped for.
Then, something significant happened! I received Jesus into my life; I believed that He loved me and was able to help me with all my problems. That was 10 years ago. Since then, I have not failed to pray that He will completely heal and set me free from all the emotional baggage I had carried over the years.
Ten years have passed. Although in those 10 years I experienced much of God's faithfulness and loving-kindess I, nonetheless, still struggled much with my emotional problems. At times I even felt that my condition was getting worse. In my head I believed Jesus desired to bless me with a victorious life, but in my heart I couldn't understand why I wasn't making good progress in this area of my life. I then reasoned that perhaps I was not good enough to deserve His healing and deliverance. That wrong belief caused me to feel condemned and guilty. Consequently, I began to look upon my emotional state with resignation, saying to myself, "This is just the way I am. I guess I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life."
Because of my unresolved emotional pains I also suffered in my relationships with people, in particular with my husband. Our marriage suffered due to the many hurts and pains we both brought into it. In the end, these unresolved issues cost us our marriage as we agreed to go our seperate ways. It was the most devastating time of my life. I felt so rejected, helpless and hopless.Yet, it was in the darkest night of my life that the light of God's grace and mercy shone through! When I felt that the whole world had shut me in, was when God opened the way for me to be delivered of my bondages and healed of my damaged emotions.
This happened when I was introduced to a Christian healing and discipleship ministry through a Christian brother who had received help previously from this ministry. My intention was to seek help to restore my marriage but unknown to me then God had another agenda for me: my spiritual and emotional breakthrough!
I must admit that I was initially skeptical and doubtful whether this ministry would be able to help. Having tried over so many years and through so many ways to be set free, only to no avail, I questioned how by just praying over me and my situation I would find my release. I had prayed many times too, but nothing much happened. Nevertheless, because of my desperate need, I was prepared to give it a try.
At a healing service conducted at the ministry centre, I poured out all my struggles to one of the ministry team members, whereupon she made arrangements for me to undergo a thorough spiritual check-up and prayer ministry. Over a period of 7 months I received prayer into the different areas of my life which needed deliverance and healing. Amazingly, after each ministry session, I felt a substantial measure of relief from the burdens I had been carrying. Since that time I have also become more confident, having been set free from the negative beliefs about myself that had held me bound for so many years.
I remember especially the ministry session where I experienced a breakthrough and release from a particularly bad habit that had begun when I was 8 years old. That bad habit had often made me feel guilty and condemned, especially after I became a Christian. I knew I was deliberately sinning against God, yet I couldn't break free of it, and often hated myself for giving in to temptation. Thankfully, after a session of extended prayer into this specific problem, the power of this bad habit was broken from over me for good. Praise the Lord!
Of course, there are times when I am still tempted to fall back into sin, but now, rather than being overcome I have learned to pray against the temptation in the name of Jesus. And each time I have prayed, God has enabled me to stand and resist the temptation.
Besides this major breakthrough I have also learned to take better control of my negative thoughts, countering them with God's word instead. I am also no longer so easily deceived and victimized by the lies of the enemy who comes only to steal, and to kill and destroy. I have learned to trust in God's word about who I am in His plans and purposes, and in what He has called me to.
I know I have started on my journey from brokenness to wholeness. I also know that I would not be completely whole in Christ overnight. Nevertheless, I have confidence that I will be released more and more each day as I tap into God's strength and power for my healing and restoration.
Not only has God helped me to see that there is hope for me, He has also given me a burden to help others to be set free as well. As God continues to teach me about healing and deliverance from bondages, I pray that I will be able to help many others find their freedom in Christ as well.
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SET FREE FROM REJECTION
Charmade's Story
What I am today, and how I am today, is all because of God. Without Him, my life would have been a disaster and, possibly, I might not even be alive today. For God took my brokenness, turned it around, and gave back to me my life, my marriage, my family, and my reason for living.
This is my story.
I came from a broken family. Dad and mom were always fighting—on one occasion they almost killed each other. Eventually, while I was still only a few years old, dad walked out on the family and went to live with his mistress. Mom was left alone to single-handedly raise all of us siblings. It was not an easy task for her.
I was also an unwelcome child as my parents had wanted a boy. A year after my birth, my younger brother was born and all attention was focussed on him. Imagine how life became for me. I was deprived of much needed parental love and affirmation, as a result of which I grew up shy, timid, fearful, rejected, alone, stubborn and full of bitterness and hatred. From a very young age, I had aready begun to show serious rejection issues. As the years passed, and largely because of the memories of how dad had mistreated mom, I began to develop a hatred towards men. Not knowing how to deal with my feelings or how to overcome my many problems, I simply allowed my rejection and hatred to grow deeper within me.
At twelve I became a Christian in the belief and hope that God would be a comfort to me in times of pain or when I felt down and discouraged. But ten years down the road I still did not feel much better; I had not grown much more in my spiritual life either. Instead I frequently felt a huge void in my life, as if something huge was preventing me from becoming whole and fulfilled as a person. Little did I know that even though I had been born again as a Christian, my unresolved personal and spiritual conflicts were actually major obstacles preventing me from drawing close to God. Without being aware of the consequences, I had become more and more frustrated with each passing year, and blamed God for everything that was wrong with my life. I was reaping the fruit of the bitter seeds I had sown.
At the same time, one other major obstacle that hindered me from drawing close to God was the broken relationship between me and my dad. Unknown to me, I had been subconsciously resisting God, my heavenly Father, because in my mind and heart I had been refusing to be reconciled to my dad, my earthly father. The way this resistance manifested itself was that each time I set out to pray or read the Bible, my thoughts would wonder; I would suddenly feel drowsy and find it hard to concentrate. At times I just dozed off in the middle of praying or reading.
My life was quickly grinding to a halt unless something drastic took place to turn the situation around. And turn it did, in 1994.
I had been married for almost five years at that point in time. But my marriage was failing because of the tremendous pressure my unresolved conflicts and emotional baggage were exerting on my relationship with my husband. I knew I was deeply hurting him and our relationship, but I could not control myself. I was desperate to save our marriage—crying out to God and pleading with Him for a breakthrough in my life and in my marriage. God heard my desperate cries and spoke through a visiting preacher that He would deliver me of all the unwanted baggage in my life.
It should have been the greatest news for me at that time—except that in my then frame of mind and thinking I could not really believe it. On the one hand I wanted a breakthrough; on the other hand I was doubtful because I kept saying to myself that there was just simply too much garbage in my life. Furthermore, I was a nobody, worthless; why would God want to love me and help me? Why would God want to be interested in me? After all, there were so many millions of other people on this earth far more deserving of His attention.
I knew in my heart and mind that this was faulty thinking on my part, and an ungodly response to the prophetic word of God. Yet, after years of struggling with my life, and working things out in my own way, I was not quite believing in my own prayer, much less God’s answer! Nevertheless, I was desperate enough to want to give God’s help a try! Soon after, I began a comprehensive and intense schedule of prayer counselling. Over a little more than twelve months I underwent several sessions of prayer ministry, and a thorough and painful (spiritual, psychological and physical) cleansing and reordering of my life.
Though the process of cleansing was emotionally demanding and painful, God was gracious and merciful in that He gave me courage and strength to complete my return to wholeness. After each ministry session I felt better and stronger, mentally and emotionally. Through prayer ministry God brought to the surface many past hurts and repressed pains, and He healed them all one by one. These emotional pains had been buried, layer upon layer, deep down into the recesses of my mind and heart, but God removed them all!
My biggest problem was dealing with the issue of death. Because of the rejection I had suffered previously, I often saw myself as a failure, and thought that I would be better off dead. In fact, on a number of occasions I did think of ending my life through suicide. I even contemplated jumping off the building where I was living in order to end it all, and especially to silence the voices in my head encouraging me to end my life. Somehow God in His mercy preserved my life and delivered me from my “tormentors.”
Even as God began to rebuild my life, He also simultaneously began to rebuild my broken relationships. I had lost touch with my dad after he walked out on the family, and therefore had no knowledge of his whereabouts. Yet God in a most loving and wonderful way reunited us as a family before he died of an illness.
Significantly, a few weeks prior to his death, I had flashing images of my dad dying. What made it even more significant was the fact that despite never having been in contact with us before, my dad’s mistress was able to trace us and inform the family of his illness and impending death. Together again with dad in the hospital room after an absence of almost thirty years, God ministered deeply to each and every one of my siblings, but especially to my mom. All the siblings eventually forgave our dad, but it was a most painful struggle for mom to forgive him. God’s love in her, nevertheless, overcame her hurt, and it was with great joy that we saw mom openly forgive dad after what he had put her through. To top it all, before he died, my dad believed in Jesus and received Him as his Lord and personal Saviour.
It is now more than ten years since I was prayed through to restoration and wholeness. In that time I have walked under an open heaven, receiving blessing upon blessing from God—spiritual, physical, financial, and relational. God has surely poured fresh anointing on my life. He has blessed me with a wonderful family and children; healed and restored my relationship with Him and with my husband. And because God had taken away my bitterness and hatred towards men through forgiving my dad, I could now freely relate to Him and to my husband, and we have grown closer to each other, loving each other more and more by the day. I am now also more sensitive to the prompting and leading of God.
God has indeed given back to me my life, my marriage, my family as well as a reason to live. But even though much has changed for the better, I know that I am still far from perfect. I still struggle occasionally with myself, but I can also confidently say that God is with me in my struggles and will give me the wisdom, grace, and strength to overcome them. He is truly the way to a better tomorrow—to hope and abundant life!
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HE RESTORED MY SOUL
OneLady's Story
I am sharing a very personal aspect of my life - to give glory to our Lord Jesus Christ and to encourage believers everywhere that God is good and compassionate, and His mercy endures forever.
I was sexually abused from age five. Given the severe traumatic conditions of my growing years, my only coping mechanism then was to suppress the abuse deep within and pretend that all was normal. I emotionally disconnected myself from the trauma, and suffered in silence because of the shame and stigma of the abuse. As a teenager, I carried on suffering in silence. However, by the time I reached adulthood, I had blissfully forgotten my past trauma and was actually happy in my budding career.
I was introduced to Jesus Christ by my husband - who back then was my boyfriend - and accepted Him as Saviour and Lord in 1992. God, in His goodness and grace, gave me a husband even though deep within my conscious mind I had a dread of men. We, nevertheless, fell in love and eventually married. But strangely, after marriage, I felt emotionally detached from him. On the one hand, I knew I loved him; but on the other, I could not explain this weird distance I felt between us.
In time we had a son, and to the outside world I looked in every way normal: happily married to a loving and caring husband, blessed with a son and a promising career. Yet, privately, unknown to everyone - including my husband - I consciously discouraged people from drawing close to me. I could not really emote or show my true feelings, and often got upset and angry at the slightest thing that went wrong.
After our son was born, I became anxious and depressed from an inexplicable fear that something bad would befall him. I prayed and prayed but the fear and depression persisted.
When my son was four years old, a friend invited my husband and I to attend a Christian Prayer Counselling Course conducted by Raphah Ministries Malaysia. Over a period of six full days, we were shown many biblical truths and given much insight into the realities of our personal and spiritual struggles. Thereafter, our lives were radically transformed and renewed as a direct result of the teaching and revelations that came to us while on the Course.
Memories of my childhood sexual abuse had began to filter to the surface as I sat through the teaching on Honouring Godly Sex and Sexuality. A deep fear - like a panic attack - began to grip my heart as I turned my thoughts to what might happen if a man should approach my son with similar intentions. The thought was made more unbearable when I realized that even after praying all the prayers that I knew, peace still eluded me, and torment continued to rule in my head and heart. It was an agonizing time of anguish!
Back at home, after the Course, frightful nightmares began to disturb my sleep while memory flashes of the past began to came back with increasing frequency. I began to wonder what on earth I had brought on myself through participating in the Counselling Course!
In desperation I turned to the Lord and sought Him with all my heart and soul. I had been a Christian the past fifteen years but that year, in early 2005, the Lord had said to me, "Seek Me and you shall find Me." True to His word, I found the Lord and the reasons for my inner turmoil. However, what I found was most unpleasant and devastating to deal with.
The Lord brought to remembrance many hurtful things from my past; but He also showed how He would heal me. Even so, in the beginning, I struggled and refused to allow God to raise my repressed memories and associated emotions. I pleaded with Him: "Lord, please heal me without dealing with any of those ugly memories." Because of the deep pain I had undergone, I was not prepared to deal with the memories of the traumas again.
But God knows His creatures well! Through the Lord's gentle persuasion and assurance of His love and promise, and the truth that He would never leave me or forsake me, I gradually yielded - trusting Him and surrendering my will. That was the point when my deepest healings began to take place.
As I allowed Jesus to bring to the surface my past hurts and pains - as I permitted myself to "feel" again - I also found the will and courage to resolve rather than repress my pain. As I released my hurts and pains to God, I felt light, my burdens lifted. At last, after twenty-seven years of suffering in silence, I could finally cry and share my pain with my wonderful counsellors.
Being able to talk openly about my past abuse without the associated shame and awkwardness is freedom indeed. The Lord healed my broken heart and restored my soul. His deep everlasting love disarmed all my fears and broke all my barriers; and when my soul had cried out all its repressed emotions, His deep peace flooded in. God healed my painful memories and delivered me from my mental torment. I know without a shadow of doubt I have been set free!
Today I have little residual pain or anxiety associated with those memories. The Lord has healed my emotions and restored my wholeness; I feel wonderfully different, and for the first time in my life I not only know that I love my husband, I also know the feeling of love and sense the attachment to him. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord.
The most important lesson I learned in the process of my healing is 'forgiveness.' It is impossible to truly forgive by human strength or will alone. I know I could truly forgive those who hurt me, only because of His grace and strength. In forgiving and releasing those who hurt me, I experienced compassion and the love of the Lord. My healing has brought me closer to my Saviour and Lord, and has given me greater incentive to live my life for Him.
Rebuilding work is still going on in me, and I am thankful for all the wonderful people who spoke into my life with their words of encouragement and wisdom; people who were predestined and ordained by God to be a part of His plan for my healing and restoration.
Thank you Jesus and thank you Raphah Ministries!